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Songwriting and song meanings…

October 23, 2014

I recently received a random email from a random person through my Bandcamp site. It said:

“Hi, I really like your song ‘The Object Of My Desire.’ I was wondering if you could tell me what it’s about. If not, it’s ok. I understand. Thanks.”

I’ve been asked this type of question several times over the years, and my initial reaction is always to just respond with, “None of your f*cking business.” But then I thought about it a little more, as well as the whole songwriting process in general, and a particular quote comes to mind:

“Music—always the truest and most devastating way to say things.”

As a writer, the beauty of music is that I get to say things—uninhibited and unfiltered—that I wouldn’t say under normal conversational circumstances. This is both liberating and extremely frightening at the same time, because there’s an element of laying it all out there for anyone and everyone to hear/see. But the bottom line is I wrote it and I chose to put it out there.

Then there’s the flip side…

As a listener, the beauty of music is being able to make a connection with a particular song or lyric or chord progression or whatever. Music can evoke emotions that no other language can. Ever wonder why movies can make a person cry, cheer, laugh, or feel anxious? The background music has a lot to do with it. Or if you’re anything like me, you can tie certain songs to particular life events. For instance, I started listening to Ida right around the time of my first breakup and had “Back Burner” on constant repeat. Broader examples would be the wedding song that a couple chooses, or even your senior prom song. There’s music for every occasion and emotion. I like to listen to Refused when I’m angry or stuck in traffic because they’re loud and full of energy. It gets me through the moment.

It’s rather cliché, but have you ever said or heard someone say, “This song speaks to me.” Music is open for interpretation, which is another beautiful thing for the listener. But understanding the true meaning behind a song can enhance the connection one makes with it (or sometimes diminish it). So back to the original email and question… While I’m under no obligation to answer, I figure there’s really no harm in doing so. So here goes. First, the song…

“the object of my desire”
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trapped beneath the weight of days
waiting just to say i know
that we should go our separate ways
and hope to meet again someday, somehow

wrapped up in this dream of lies
if i can open up my eyes, i’d know
that i’m the only one to blame
and now my heart won’t be the same
without your love

i can’t be myself
when you’re around
it’s something new
i don’t know myself
all at the cost of loving you

if i could say the words i feel
deep in my heart
and if you feel the same way
i won’t be afraid anymore

“the object of my desire” is about being in a relationship (or wanting to be in a relationship) that neither person has any business being in. Most of the elements are there—love, physical attraction, genuine desire—but there’s a certain honesty that’s lacking. Being with that person causes you to change who you are and how you act around them. Maybe it’s insecurity and the fear of losing that person if they see who you really are, or maybe you just don’t want them to know the real you for some reason or another. Either way, both of you can sense it, and if you could just both come to terms with it, then the lie could end.

So there you go… I finally managed to answer the question. To the random person who sent me the email, thanks for getting me to pick my own brain and I hope that scratches your itch.



COVER SONG: “Enjoy The Ride” by Krewella

October 21, 2014

“Enjoy The Ride” by Krewella
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the unloved ones



a better day

October 16, 2014

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don’t do what you do…
i’m so incapable and you’re irresistible.
when we are alone,
i can’t put up a fight,
so i just might fall for your smile.
you lost me in your ways…
it’s uncontrollable, my tears inconsolable.
so how do i move on?
i can’t see the light,
your shadow’s right over my heart.

you never even let me know your name–
it’s a mystery, a misery.
you never even let me feel your breath–
it seems so warm, but i’ll never know.

now i don’t even want to know your name–
it’s still a mystery, my misery.
and i don’t even want to feel your breath,
’cause i’ll be warm as long as you’re around.



The Unloved Ones [EP] - NOW AVAILABLE!!!

December 15, 2013

the unloved ones

Download the new EP for FREE!!!

Check out the music page or click HERE for links and details.



knowing is half the battle, the other half is just giving up

December 14, 2013

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open your eyes,
can you see me now?
you’re lost in the crowd,
drowning you so loud.
crucify all you are to me
in the suicide of your heart.

walking alone,
are you happy now?
smiles and your charm
can’t save you this time.
take all of your breaths
in one last cry,
and plead for the shame
and guilt of your life.

open up, let it in, take it all–
what your heart can’t give.
let it out, let it go, wash away
what you can’t forget.

am i losing out on a love with you?



COVER SONG: “Plans” by Ida

December 4, 2013

i typically don’t like recording cover songs, but this is definitely one of my all time favorites…

“Plans” by Ida
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everything we know

December 2, 2013

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i wanted to take you home last night
but i’d been waiting a while
for you to say it’d be alright
but nothing’s changing your mind

i want to call you up tonight
because we’ve been wasting our time
we could hold hands, we could make out
or just be cool because there’s no one around

just don’t let go of everything we know…



forget your youth

November 27, 2013

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tell me one more time,
what is it on your mind?
but it’s not easy for me,
i am barely listening
to your words that skew
the way i feel for you.
i bet it’s not easy
fighting off the boys who can’t see
that you’re so beautiful,
that you’re so wonderful.

the way you go, don’t run away
from all the secrets i can’t stand.
the way you speak goes to my head,
can’t i be the one instead?

it’s been a long, long time
since i first stepped in line
to be the one who could do
anything you want me to.
so just forget the child
who day after day and a while
let them get the best of you
and panicked from the boys who can’t see
that you’re so beautiful,
that you’re so wonderful.



the object of my desire

November 26, 2013

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trapped beneath the weight of days
waiting just to say i know
that we should go our separate ways
and hope to meet again someday, somehow

wrapped up in this dream of lies
if i can open up my eyes, i’d know
that i’m the only one to blame
and now my heart won’t be the same
without your love

i can’t be myself
when you’re around
it’s something new
i don’t know myself
all at the cost of loving you

if i could say the words i feel
deep in my heart
and if you feel the same way
i won’t be afraid anymore



for the girl i’ve been dreaming of

November 8, 2013

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hey little darling girl, you’re in my dreams again
because i just can’t help this feeling to pretend.
i don’t know how to get by
without your kiss and that look in your eye
and i can’t feel your breath when i go to sleep at night.

my little darling girl, you’re in my dreams again,
but i don’t like the feeling of having to pretend
because i know that there is no time
to say all the things that are on your mind.
there’s just too many years to make up between the lines.

i am not enough to be the one that you could love.
so i’ll just give up and let you be the one
that i keep dreaming of.

take my hand, don’t let it go—
i never wanted any more than this.



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