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the day you disappeared

June 1, 2015


can you feel it now?
there’s something in the air tonight
that says we’ll be alright
’cause i’ve been waiting
for this moment to arrive
and make me feel alive.

take my hand,
i’ll show you everything
if i could be anything to you.

can you see it now?
there’s a fire inside my heart
and you made it spark.
but i’m still waiting
for your lips to come around
and just let me down.

it was just another memory i’ll erase

May 16, 2015


when it feels like we have made a start
i’ll be waiting for you to break my heart
it won’t be long before you’re gone
and i’ll admit that i was wrong
and it tears my world apart

hold your head up high
and be the girl you’ve thought of
and i’ll close my eyes
’cause i can’t be the one you love

when it feels like you could use a change
i’ll be waiting for you to rearrange
the stars at night across the sky
so i can wish to be the guy
that you have been dreaming of

keep your smile on wide
and be the one that i adore
i’ll open up my eyes
and see that there was nothing more

VIDEO: everything we know

April 20, 2015


March 14, 2015


every breath i take whispers your name
every move i make is part of your game
’cause i need your love… your love
every step i take leads to your door
every wish i make leaves me wanting more
’cause i need your love… your love

i believed you when you said yes

January 30, 2015


i just wanted to be your hope
your someone to run to
someone to hold on to
you said you just wanted to be alone
with no one to cry to
but i can’t forget you
just give me a chance and
i will never let you down
just say what you need and
i will always be around

i dreamt that you almost loved me

January 25, 2015


i want something to believe in
but i just can’t let go of this feeling
of a love cast down with no hope or healing
on my heart of glass that you keep on stealing

Songwriting and song meanings…

October 23, 2014

I recently received a random email from a random person through my Bandcamp site. It said:

“Hi, I really like your song ‘The Object Of My Desire.’ I was wondering if you could tell me what it’s about. If not, it’s ok. I understand. Thanks.”

I’ve been asked this type of question several times over the years, and my initial reaction is always to just respond with, “None of your f*cking business.” But then I thought about it a little more, as well as the whole songwriting process in general, and a particular quote comes to mind:

“Music—always the truest and most devastating way to say things.”

As a writer, the beauty of music is that I get to say things—uninhibited and unfiltered—that I wouldn’t say under normal conversational circumstances. This is both liberating and extremely frightening at the same time, because there’s an element of laying it all out there for anyone and everyone to hear/see. But the bottom line is I wrote it and I chose to put it out there.

Then there’s the flip side…

As a listener, the beauty of music is being able to make a connection with a particular song or lyric or chord progression or whatever. Music can evoke emotions that no other language can. Ever wonder why movies can make a person cry, cheer, laugh, or feel anxious? The background music has a lot to do with it. Or if you’re anything like me, you can tie certain songs to particular life events. For instance, I started listening to Ida right around the time of my first breakup and had “Back Burner” on constant repeat. Broader examples would be the wedding song that a couple chooses, or even your senior prom song. There’s music for every occasion and emotion. I like to listen to Refused when I’m angry or stuck in traffic because they’re loud and full of energy. It gets me through the moment.

It’s rather cliché, but have you ever said or heard someone say, “This song speaks to me.” Music is open for interpretation, which is another beautiful thing for the listener. But understanding the true meaning behind a song can enhance the connection one makes with it (or sometimes diminish it). So back to the original email and question… While I’m under no obligation to answer, I figure there’s really no harm in doing so. So here goes. First, the song…

“the object of my desire”

trapped beneath the weight of days
waiting just to say i know
that we should go our separate ways
and hope to meet again someday, somehow

wrapped up in this dream of lies
if i can open up my eyes, i’d know
that i’m the only one to blame
and now my heart won’t be the same
without your love

i can’t be myself
when you’re around
it’s something new
i don’t know myself
all at the cost of loving you

if i could say the words i feel
deep in my heart
and if you feel the same way
i won’t be afraid anymore

“the object of my desire” is about being in a relationship (or wanting to be in a relationship) that neither person has any business being in. Most of the elements are there—love, physical attraction, genuine desire—but there’s a certain honesty that’s lacking. Being with that person causes you to change who you are and how you act around them. Maybe it’s insecurity and the fear of losing that person if they see who you really are, or maybe you just don’t want them to know the real you for some reason or another. Either way, both of you can sense it, and if you could just both come to terms with it, then the lie could end.

So there you go… I finally managed to answer the question. To the random person who sent me the email, thanks for getting me to pick my own brain and I hope that scratches your itch.

COVER SONG: “Enjoy The Ride” by Krewella

October 21, 2014

“Enjoy The Ride” by Krewella
Right-click and “Save Target As…”

the unloved ones

a better day

October 16, 2014

Right-click and “Save Target As…”

don’t do what you do…
i’m so incapable and you’re irresistible.
when we are alone,
i can’t put up a fight,
so i just might fall for your smile.
you lost me in your ways…
it’s uncontrollable, my tears inconsolable.
so how do i move on?
i can’t see the light,
your shadow’s right over my heart.

you never even let me know your name–
it’s a mystery, a misery.
you never even let me feel your breath–
it seems so warm, but i’ll never know.

now i don’t even want to know your name–
it’s still a mystery, my misery.
and i don’t even want to feel your breath,
’cause i’ll be warm as long as you’re around.

The Unloved Ones [EP] – NOW AVAILABLE!!!

December 15, 2013

the unloved ones

Download the new EP for FREE!!!

Check out the music page or click HERE for links and details.





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